Women My Age

It may be a surprise to learn that women “my age” (over 50) are probably the most under dating group in California, America…maybe the world. To be honest, there was a time when I did not even know anyone who I could ask out for even a cup of coffee. God forbid that I would win a trip for two to one of those tropical islands.

Seriously, like many of my female associates I began to see myself wasting away waiting. The truth is that when you get to a certain point even those old “piece of men” aren’t even around. They have either gone back home to their wives, who too were wasting away waiting for them to come home, or they are in bad health or broke. Which leads you to take on another sad role, that of driving or paying (my next topic).

Clearly, after being divorced for over twenty years, I was beginning to doubt that a man that I would love was going to just walk up to me. Well in any event, it had not happen thus far. Anyway, I believe in the saying that “where there is life, there is hope.” I decided to stop wishing, hoping, praying, and waiting. I was going to find me a man.

My plan was to tell everyone I knew that I was “looking.” I was on a mission. I took every opportunity, girlfriends, men friends, even my hair stylist. After all, from what I had heard over the years, eligible men are out there they just don’t approach women because they assume they are already taken. Surely, one of my contacts knew a nice guy to introduce me to, maybe a single cousin or divorced brother. And the thought of a lonely widowed uncle was too much to hope for.

But my plan was flawed. The only people I know fall into one of three categories single women, unhappy married women, or married men. Needless to say I received no referrals to my notices of availability. What was I thinking? My friends and associates proved to be comfortable with me just as I am…

Next, my search leads me to Salsa lessons.

Passive Expectations

Why do some women hold out for so little? Have you heard tearful stories from women who continue to "relationship prospect" from men having no interest in a relationship?

Well, I think passive expectations is the reason and the problem. Ladies, I have been divorced for many years and would be the first to tell everyone that it is difficult being single and looking. As a matter of fact, I was so discouraged with the "dating dance" that I took a seven year timeout just to make sure I was strong enough for the games.

Don't write me off as eccentric or nutty. Taking time away allowed me to refine my personal worth and clarify exactly what I didn't have in my life already. I believe that we (women) often look at men (relationships) as what we should have in our life, and what will make us content and happy.

We must stop wasting time with involvements that don't have the elements for success. Be honest, does this person have the character and attributes that will compliment your life. Ask questions. Measure responses. Are your feelings safe and valued? Simply put, you can not be passive about what is expected from the people in your life. Whether it is respect from your children, or fidelity in your lover, you have the responsibility for ensuring how you are treated and the happiness you can expect.